


Finding your light

by Jinbeizaki



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Mentions of the previous events, POV Sousuke, What I wish will happen in episode 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-13 23:44:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2169855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinbeizaki/pseuds/Jinbeizaki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What could happen in Free!ES Episode 8 or how Makoto and Sousuke finally interact.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding your light

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this just after episode 7 aired because I really need Sousuke and Makoto to interact already.
> 
> Thanks to Vicky (rinismydarling on tumblr) for beta this.
> 
> Please enjoy~

“Yamazaki-kun?”

As I turned around after hearing my name, I saw this guy. Nanase’s friend. If I remember correctly his name is… Makoto Tachibana. I was yet not in the mood to talk to him. Besides why would we even speak? We barely knew each other! However, despite the look I sent him, he kept coming closer until he stood in front of me. 

“Are you alone?” 

Was he surprised to see no Rin by my side? 

“I can ask you the same, where’s Nanase?” 

I expected his smile to grow at the mention of his best friend or a laugh about how I was right and that he shouldn’t have asked this question… But I was definitely not ready when his face turned into an expression I had never seen on Tachibana’s face. 

All that was troubling me before seemed long forgotten and replaced by questions about Tachibana and Nanase. Did they get into some kind of fight? Was it possible? And here I thought they were the perfect best friends never fighting type. I was wrong I guess. Wrong once again. 

“Are you searching for Haru?” 

Tachibana’s face had turned back into the usual smiling face. However he wasn’t good enough to hide his feelings. The way those emerald eyes flickered reflecting his souls troubles. I sighed as I realized that this guy wasn’t going to say anything about himself. Only caring about others, huh? Was that the reason why Rin liked those Iwatobi guys so much? 

“No.”

Next to them, I am surely looking so selfish. 

“I see… Well then I have to go. Bye, Yama-“

Too selfish. I had stopped Tachibana from going away from me. I didn’t want to be left alone, not again. Furthermore, this guy also seemed to need someone to talk to. Taking his wrist, I took him to that hill where I knew there would be less people around. No one around us to judge us. We would be able to pour our hearts out and since we weren’t that close, it wouldn’t affect us. 

That’s what I had originally thought. 

But then, the moment I knew I had to talk, I just couldn’t. My eyes stared at the ocean we could see from up here. However my mouth was locked, unable to open even the slightest. 

“The ocean seems calm, isn’t it?” 

The way Tachibana said this seemed off, almost like he was reminding himself about this. He wasn’t even asking me about how I basically kidnapped him while he seemed to have some kind of appointment. My eyes left the mass of water to direct it towards him. Was he feeling like me? 

“What do you feel like when you swim a relay with Nanase and the others, Tachibana?”

The question both surprised him and me. Why did I even wonder this aloud? It just slipped my mouth I imagined –even if I was still somewhat curious about his answer. 

“Uh… I guess I am… happy? I don’t really know how to describe this feeling but I’m truly at peace.” 

The answer didn’t seem sincere in my ears and it didn’t help me believe it when I saw his face torn under emotions. I couldn’t understand him as much as Rin but I knew something was wrong. 

“Really? Then what about that relay at prefecturals?”

Was I too brutal? It seemed Tachibana wanted to hide from my gaze, the way he gestured around on the bench was almost childish. However, I was truly wondering why his reactions had been off in that relay while he had been fine the day before against Mikoshiba and Uozomi. And then that race against Nanase flashed back in front of my eyes. The way he lost, the way Rin had worried about him and the way he had looked when I had glanced at him after the freestyle race. 

“I was preoccupied… You’ve been scouted Yamazaki-kun, right?”

I nodded taken aback that he was mentioning this now. What did it have to do with relays? But then I let him speak. 

“I was thinking about my future. What I would be doing if I can’t swim competitively.”

Tachibana’s voice barely made it through my ears as he seemed to speak to himself. Though I managed to hear it…. And I wished I hadn’t. This made me think about my own condition. 

“I guess you never had this kind of thoughts, Yamazaki-kun. Judging how good you are. “

“…I don’t know if I can continue like this forever…” 

“What do you mean, Yamazaki-kun?” 

How he looked at me was so intense… It didn’t even seem like we were strangers anymore. Tachibana was way too worried about him, his voice sounded so panicked. Unlike him, I was doing my best to not let any emotions out. But I knew I was failing at keeping everything inside and so everything came bursting out.

“No matter how many times I’m swimming, no matter in which styles or whoever I am with, I can’t see anything. The water keeps being a dark place where no joy comes from. Rin kept saying how Nanase showed him a sight he had never seen before when swimming, how he was saved. And yet I didn’t feel anything when racing him. There was barely any difference when we had the relay in prefecturals despite how much I worked for it. Nothing happened!”

At this point I was almost shouting in desperation. I needed to let someone know although it would be useless since he wouldn’t be of any help. This guy wasn’t even in my swim team. I closed my eyes in order to calm down a bit. Surely I had scared him; he wasn’t the courageous type after all from what I heard from my best friend. 

However I felt his warmth engulfing me when his arms embraced me in a tight hug. Somehow at first it felt so weird, almost wanting to push him away. Indeed, the distance between us was so small, quasi inexistent. But then the awkwardness turned into something else. Desperation… 

I needed this warmth. 

“Yamazaki-kun, I will help you. I may not be as good as Rin and Haru but I will think about something to let you see light. When I was a child, I would see water as dangerous, where some monster was hiding…”

If someone else had told me these words before, I would definitely have laughed at this person for how cheesy and childish this sounded like. Yet this was different. It really felt like what I was going through was similar to what he experienced–except from that “scared of water” part. It was something at least. We had shared this dark sight at some point and both thought about a future without swimming competitively in it.

We were quite similar for being strangers, weirdly. 

All I could do at this point was hug Tachibana back. We were both wrecked and yet we managed to let the others glance at our troubles. He even wanted to help me out despite how harsh I had been. 

When I stared at him after we separated, I swore I was seeing him beaming in light. Especially with that smile on. 

“Maybe you haven’t found yet that person that can show you this sight you’ve been searching for?”  



End file.
